Have you ever noticed yourself just sitting there, staring into the air and then realized that you are actually not thinking about anything?

Mental Health Awareness is something I hold very close to my heart. Four years ago I had a very rough night, I had been feeling isolated, down, and feeling no one was there for me. My husband was a sailor back then, going for a month at a time and he had just come home. Our son was 16 months old, we lived in my mothers basement where there is limited natural light and naturally dark. I cried myself to sleep almost every night while my husband was away and never thought anything of it. When people came by I would put up a brave face and tell them everything is just fine, of course they believed me. But that night.. I burst, I shouted, screamed, cried, jumped, became hysteric. I had a total breakdown. Many months in the making, that night was a night that changed my life. After saying horrible words to my husband who had no idea what was going on I ran into our bedroom, googled the next psychologist I could find and sent them an email, saying; “I need help, something is wrong and I really need urgent help”. Realizing this wasn’t normal, this cannot be the feelings I should be feeling with my little baby boy. That monday I had an appointment, I cried for an hour everyday for two weeks, realizing with the psychologist that I had been broken for a while then. That this outburst was inevitable without treatment. I was diagnosed with post-partnum depression, misery, anxiety, the blues and PTSD. I had an appointment 5 times a week for 4 weeks, then 3 times a week for a year. I went to CBT(cognitive behavioral therapy) courses through the years and started excepting who I am. Teaching my husband, me and how to read me, he can see when I need to talk, scream or cry. He’s my rock.

Now 4 years later I understand me, I know what I need to do to feel like myself. I prepared myself when I got pregnant the second time, I was always 3 steps ahead of my mental health. I went and studied about mental health and pregnancy, I took another CBT course specifically for pregnant women, I booked 3 appointments after my due date with a psychologist, just to be ready if there were anything. I prepared my husband for all symptoms and ways and ideas for how to deal with me, if he wasn’t sure. I was determined to NEVER go back to that place in my mind where I wanted my husband to leave with my children.

I wanted to share my story, or a short version. I am going to be talking more about CBT, ways to talk to your head and ways for you to find your strengths and work with them. I will be talking from personal experience as well as scientific studies.

This is good for now, but I’d like you to try this small exercise.

Close your eyes – Take five slow, deep breathes – while you do that listen to your breathing – feel your stomach raise as you inhale and go back as you exhale – then feel your chest open up as you inhale and pushes inwards as you exhale – think of nothing else for those 5 deep breathes.

In that moment, you where in the NOW you started the first step to meditate to be more mindful of the NOW. The first step to your mental health awareness.

Have a great weekend everyone !